That's the reason you're here anyway, right?
So let’s talk for real. I saw this question posted on social media and I knew I had to cover it.
So, Antonio and I talked on the phone for almost two months before I decided that I would drive to Huntsville to see him. We discussed EVERYTHING from our beliefs to sex. We agreed that we had been doing it all wrong so far, so we agreed that there would be no sex until marriage. That’s when I really knew he would marry me. I was thinking, “This guy is serious about me. NO SEX?” :-)
So I visited him for the first time in August of 2012. He treated me like the queen he saw in me. He held me, rubbed my feet, we talked for hours, and we went out and had fun. A couple of days later, I went home. We’re human, of course, we both wanted it but we wanted a healthy relationship more. We saw each other several times after that. One time in particular, HE PROPOSED. Again, we wanted it. We tried… we couldn’t. We wanted “US”, a prosperous US more than we wanted sex!
The next month we moved me to Huntsville, Al. October 27, 2012 to be exact. We planned a wedding for September 14, 2013. We had no doubts that we were made for each other but we just didn’t want to ruin it. Is it possible to LIVE in a home with the LOVE OF YOUR LIFE and not have sex? In my opinion, NO!! We decided we would get married on New Year’s Eve 2012; starting 2013 off right and repenting for ALL we had done. Lol. Antonio did make a commitment to me though. He promised to know my spirit first and care for ME, the real me. He was so patient. He wanted much more than what I could offer him sexually. I still appreciate that today.
So did we give up sex for a healthy relationship? Yes. We got to know each other mentally and spiritually for months first! There are things that he knows about me and vice versa now that I believe we would have missed if things were done differently. Did we fail at temptation? YES! We moved in together. We definitely fell short sometimes. Did we correct this? Through the help and strength of God, we did. We wanted God to HONOR our union. So we prayed/repented and held out until we made it to marriage. It was hard to do but sex can cloud your judgement and make you miss or IGNORE signs. It can cause you to miss getting to know other parts of your wife or husband-to-be. Our flesh is weak because it wants what it wants but when we allow it to overcome our better judgement, we can forfeit longevity in our relationships. I would recommend putting sex on the back burner and taking time to get to know a person mentally AND spiritually first. Make sure he/she has all of their marbles first. Lol. Holding out is hard to do but it can be done.
But if they cannot contain, let them marry: for it is better to marry than to burn. 1 Cor. 7:9