That's the reason you're here anyway, right?
This may be a #TeamNoLikes post.
So... as believers we like to use "For all have sinned, and come short of the glory of God (Rom. 3:23)" and "God knows my heart... Only God can judge me." all as excuses to stay in our sin comfortably and guilt-free. It's time out for that. Those are excuses. Yes, God has mercy and yes he is gracious but when you know better, you do better. Therefore, anyone who knows what is right but fails to do it is guilty of sin. (James 4:17) Yes, he knows your heart and sometimes that is not a good thing. When you choose your sin over obedience, it tells him that your heart is where your sin is. Don't get me wrong we ALL fall short but the goal is holiness. Every day we should be striving for holiness. We won’t be perfect. We will fall short sometimes but holiness is the goal.
Habitually sinning and making the conscious decision to continue is the issue. He was wounded for our transgressions and he was bruised for our iniquities and the chastisement for our peace was upon Him and by His stripes we are healed. Is. 53:5 NKJV It is time to turn from our wicked ways. It is not easy to give up the things we love to do and that we have grown accustomed to doing. Some of our worst activities are those that feels good to us (not always sexual). But we must remember, what is good to you, is not always good for you.
As a people, we have fallen under the subjection of our flesh. Sure, your flesh desires it; but where is your self-control? I’ve noticed that the things that God has commanded us not to do, usually have negative consequences that cause us hurt. Soul-ties, diseases, anger/rage, discontentment, dissatisfaction and even self-resentment. Let’s consider the seven deadly sins (www.deadlysins.com):
Pride- excessive belief in one's own abilities, that interferes with the individual's recognition of the grace of God.
Covetousness- the desire for others' traits, status, abilities, or situation.
Lust- an inordinate craving for the pleasures of the body.
Anger- manifested in the individual who spurns love and opts instead for fury. It is also known as Wrath.
Gluttony- an inordinate desire to consume more than that which one requires.
Envy- desire for material wealth or gain, ignoring the realm of the spiritual.
Sloth- Sloth is the avoidance of physical or spiritual work.
All of these have negative impacts on our bodies, mind, and/or spirits. Keep in mind that these are only the deadly sins.
We so easily give in to the desires of our flesh, not considering how this takes us out of fellowship with our Father. God is a jealous god and he won’t compete with your desire to disobey His commands. The best way to get over your flesh is by fasting. This way you are denying your fleshly desires and feeding your spirit. Again, if your body wants a thing, you don’t have to fulfill that desire. God wants us to be pure, holy, and safe; but once we are outside of HIS will, we are, at that point, in danger.
So let’s talk for real. I saw this question posted on social media and I knew I had to cover it.
So, Antonio and I talked on the phone for almost two months before I decided that I would drive to Huntsville to see him. We discussed EVERYTHING from our beliefs to sex. We agreed that we had been doing it all wrong so far, so we agreed that there would be no sex until marriage. That’s when I really knew he would marry me. I was thinking, “This guy is serious about me. NO SEX?” :-)
So I visited him for the first time in August of 2012. He treated me like the queen he saw in me. He held me, rubbed my feet, we talked for hours, and we went out and had fun. A couple of days later, I went home. We’re human, of course, we both wanted it but we wanted a healthy relationship more. We saw each other several times after that. One time in particular, HE PROPOSED. Again, we wanted it. We tried… we couldn’t. We wanted “US”, a prosperous US more than we wanted sex!
The next month we moved me to Huntsville, Al. October 27, 2012 to be exact. We planned a wedding for September 14, 2013. We had no doubts that we were made for each other but we just didn’t want to ruin it. Is it possible to LIVE in a home with the LOVE OF YOUR LIFE and not have sex? In my opinion, NO!! We decided we would get married on New Year’s Eve 2012; starting 2013 off right and repenting for ALL we had done. Lol. Antonio did make a commitment to me though. He promised to know my spirit first and care for ME, the real me. He was so patient. He wanted much more than what I could offer him sexually. I still appreciate that today.
So did we give up sex for a healthy relationship? Yes. We got to know each other mentally and spiritually for months first! There are things that he knows about me and vice versa now that I believe we would have missed if things were done differently. Did we fail at temptation? YES! We moved in together. We definitely fell short sometimes. Did we correct this? Through the help and strength of God, we did. We wanted God to HONOR our union. So we prayed/repented and held out until we made it to marriage. It was hard to do but sex can cloud your judgement and make you miss or IGNORE signs. It can cause you to miss getting to know other parts of your wife or husband-to-be. Our flesh is weak because it wants what it wants but when we allow it to overcome our better judgement, we can forfeit longevity in our relationships. I would recommend putting sex on the back burner and taking time to get to know a person mentally AND spiritually first. Make sure he/she has all of their marbles first. Lol. Holding out is hard to do but it can be done.
But if they cannot contain, let them marry: for it is better to marry than to burn. 1 Cor. 7:9