Since accepting my call into ministry, I've wanted to step my study game up. God sent me to the Gospel of Matthew. I got to Chapter 4 and read verses 1-11 and got caught up.

The Temptation of JESUS

8) Again, the devil took him up into an exceeding high mountain, and showed him all the kingdoms of
the world, and the glory of them;
9) And said to him, all these things will I give thee, if you will fall down and worship me.
10) Then said Jesus to him, get thee hence, Satan: for it is written, you will worship the Lord thy God, and him only shall you serve.

Often times, particularly in relationships, we are tempted by what seems to be better than what we have. The scripture is an example. JESUS was on a 40 day fast and here comes Satan tempting Him to eat. He went as far as offering Christ the world, if he would worship him. He offered Christ something that didn’t even belong to him. What a manipulator? Right? Jesus rebuked him and sent him away. He defeated TEMPTATION. 

So… let’s say… you’re hungry for something that you’re missing in your relationship and here comes someone saying, “all these things will I give thee. “ But is the grass greener on the other side? It could be greener because of a lot of fertilization (manure) from lies, baggage, and abuse or use of someone else’s water (another woman/man). It could just be sod. You know the fake grass they lay out over the dirt, easily up-rooted. Be careful of the foundation on which you build relationships.

80/20 rule:

You may have heard about this on Tyler Perry's "Why Did I Get Married?"

In most relationships, you get 80% of what you want/need in your mate. Nobody's perfect right? But 80% is a large portion... but as human beings we are just never satisfied so we want it all. So, here comes "Satan" offering you the 20% that you are not getting (money, car, house, clothes, trips, and/or sex....) Now, you think the grass is greener, so you leave a full 80% for a measly 20%. Now, you're stuck with this 20% and missing Mr./Mrs. 80% (Loyal, faithful, gentle, caring, loving, hard working, God-fearing....) Be careful with this.

Sometimes it is worth the fight to just water your own grass. That way, you know the history of your grass and you can be proud of its growth because you put in the work to grow it. My generation believes that everything is disposable yet, we throw away valuables just to invest in trash. I’m just saying. The things that make the world beautiful take both, sunshine (good times) and rain (challenging times) to grow.
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Relationships can be challenging. You have two different personalities, upbringings, different moods, and even different views on certain things coming together to be ONE. That is hard work… constant work. Antonio and I make this thing look easy but we try to keep a clear and open line of communication and talk about things that concern us. We even had to learn when to agree to disagree. Either way, RESPECTFUL communication is key!

P.S.
DEFEAT TEMPTATION!

When Tony and I got together we were 258 miles apart. We had no other choice but to get to know each other and pray together. He promised me that he would be patient with me. He said he didn't want to ruin us through lust before we even had a chance at having a healthy relationship. Sex did not come into play for months. Was it difficult to wait? Absolutely. Was it worth it?? Most definitely.


So ladies, you have been in a relationship for a while and you are growing impatient while waiting on that question and ring combo! What is taking so long? Am I not worth it? Is there something wrong with me? What is he afraid of? These are all questions that women ask while waiting. So today, I address some possible reasons why he hasn't popped the question. All of them won't apply to each case but these are some of the reasons I have observed in my own past situation-ships and others.


...and a threefold cord is not quickly broken.
Ecc. 4:12b


Whoso (him) finds a wife (her) finds a good thing and obtains favor of the Lord (GOD). Prov. 18:22


Marriage is honorable in all and the bed undefiled.
Heb. 13:4a


1. He doesn't want to.
Nothing deep. He just doesn't have any plans to make a commitment.

2. You're already wifely.
If he is already experiencing you as a wife (cohabitation, cooking, cleaning, and sex when he wants) without the full commitment on his end then he has no reason to marry you. There is no incentive. Why buy the cow when you can get the milk for free? Right?


3. You may not exemplify the qualities of a wife. God made woman to be a help-mete. You can't be a help-mete if you only think about yourself and what YOU want.


The word explains that a man would rather live in the wilderness than deal with a nagging woman. He doesn't want to turn a nagging girlfriend into an even more nagging wife.


4. He doesn't want to marry you, your momma, sisters, friends, and cousins too.
You may be allowing your family and friends to make decisions in your relationship by being easily influenced or persuaded by them.


5. He or the both of you are too comfortable. You two may have just become used to the way things are therefore you are not requiring marriage.


6. He has a weak relationship with Christ. No conviction #ThatIsAll


7. You're not bringing anything to the table. Don't work. Don't go to school. Don't cook and clean. Can't hold an intelligent conversation. Sex alone won't do.


8. You chose him, God did not.
You prayed for a husband and you just went with the first man you saw.


9. He doesn't know your worth


Yes he that finds a wife finds a good thing but what if he has no discernment to recognize the Proverbs 31 in you!!


10. You don't know your worth

How will he recognize the Proverbs 31 in you if you don't see it yourself.


11. He may be afraid of commitment.


This could stem from past relationships, Daddy or Mommy issues...etc.






****Bonus****
God can bless you with the man of your dreams. The most perfect person for you and then you ruin the blessing by tarnishing the sacredness of the union. Freewill is a gift and a curse. We are so impatient with life and so in-tuned to THE FLESH that we sometimes ruin the surprise that God had in store for us by experiencing it prematurely. Stop jumping into sex with him just because you love him because at that point you cloud your judgment, discernment, the innocence of the relationship. You could forfeit your blessing. If he's the one, he will be patient and if he is not the one then he's not worth your goods anyway. Pray for God to send you someone who wants what you want and be specific in prayer. Be patient.


P.S. Wait, because you're worth it!